TORN APART (finding you)

Exercising some level of control over one's life is one challenge many individuals struggle or strive to attain in a world full of opinions and an easy map on how one's life should be lived. As a social specie of the human community protecting one's unique identity can be quite challenging as this often means going against norms which the majority obediently adhere.  Most time we get ourselves immersed in the majority that we lost touch of who we really are. We suffer from low self esteem because we fail to build personal power, because we have always learned to rely on others for our happiness and peace of mind. We fear to be in solitude, we fear making decisions on our own, we fear making our own personal judgement and our opinion appear to be inferior to us because we have learned to depend on others for all these.

To be human is to have a sense of identity. To be human is to grow in confidence and trust one's ability to make sound judgement. Many as a result of lack confidence and poor self concept of themselves judge things through the lens of the majority in order to gain love and acceptance of the majority. As individuals we are all unique and special in our different ways. don't be afraid of expressing your unique individuality. Understand that you have a unique part to play on this earth. Hiding in the multitude in order to avoid being judged based on your own personal opinion only limits your capacity to grow, trascend, .and become a better you. Understand that being in the multitude is a stressful place to be. Being in the multitude divides you into many parts and make the real you completely silent. Many become unsteady, unbalanced, torn apart, confused and gradually whittle themselves away in order to fit the perfect description of the girl on the magazine cover. Society without fail place you where they think you belong by giving you a label. The need to avoid or escape some labels and be in the societal good account has led many to sacrifice their personality, lose their individual voices, and has made many function below their potential. Many are torn apart and piece by piece they duplicate the personality on the screen and allow popular opinions and belief to guide their decisions in life.

To stand alone you must learn to accept some labels and avoid being offended by such labels. When you take offence in the labels or names they call you then slowly you will disengage from that very thing you love and because you seek acceptance and love of the majority you will take up their popular habit which are often destructive. They call you a clergy man because you love to preach the gospel, they call you a geek because you love to read, they call you an almanac because you love the Encyclopedia, they call you anti-social because you take non alcoholic beverages, they call you unreal man because you keep to only one woman,understand that whatever party you belong you will always be given a label. An almanac,  a geek, a clergy man,  an anti-social individual are nothing but opinions that are often used against those who have discovered their unique calling in life in order to draw them into the multitude.  Understand that the majority always have the advantage of number and that does not mean they are right. That an opinion is widely accepted does not make it true.

Standing for what is right and what is true often requires that you extract yourself from the majority and see things for what they really are. Who says nicotine makes you hot? Who says alcohol makes you social? The fear of standing alone is what makes many hide themselves in the crowd. In the actual sense standing alone does not mean being by one self. No one is an island. We all need each other as a social specie. Liberation comes from the discovery of self. When you discover yourself, your unique calling, your niche then you will develop confidence to stand alone. You will develop the strength to stand on your belief, Your conviction, and decision in life. Most times the internal struggle many encounter in life is a result of their unwillingness to accept who they are, and their unwillingness to accept the place of their calling in life. Many are swayed by popular opinions of the majority, they never start up a project, never finish up a project, they are confused,  discouraged, and many wait for others to tell them what they think about their dreams, their ideas and vision. Society respect the confidence. They give way to them because the are those who knows what they really want even when they stroke them with a label. Standing alone is at the heart of self confidence. When you lack confidence in your personal opinion,.your belief and values then the multitude might be the right place for you.

To many the multitude is a safe place to be. No one will ever question their opinions because it is the opinion of the masses. But hiding in the multitude only obscures ones individuality. Many have long lost connection with their true self. They dread solitude and seek company at all cost. Even when alone their electronic devices has to be working in order to feel some sense of connection with the world. Solitude should not be confused with loneliness. Every great man appreciate solitude because that is when they connect with their higher selves. Those who have discovered themselves and their place in the world appreciate solitude. The musician, the artist, the actor,.the pianist, the writer, the doctor, lawyers and many inventors appreciate solitude because that is where they connect and draw inspiration from the infinite mind. understand that you are unique being and you have a unique role to play in life. Hiding in the multitude only limit you and prevent you from transcending and becoming a better you. When you lack a sense of identity, then you will always identify yourself based on what people tell you.

To find yourself you must first discover your purpose in life. Lack of purpose and direction is what make many run to the majority for support and strength. Also to find yourself you must extract yourself from the masses and stand alone.

 Understand that as an individual your existence is tied to meeting needs. When you immerse yourself in the multitude you scatter your force in too many direction and you will not effect a significant impact in any one direction. Standing in the crowd makes your voice silent. The fear of standing alone can make you ineffective in life. To that man who feels the world is against him for choosing the unpopular way of life to you I write. To that young man who struggle for acceptance to you I write, to that young man whose dream is being ridiculed and termed unreasonable to you I write, to that young lady who struggle with inferiority complex to you I write, you can only grow, shine, and transcend from there.

Thanks for reading this article. I dedicate this article to the Almighty God who is the source of inspiration.

Writer: Uwagboe Anthonia Peace